So I'm wondering in what ways God wants to use me. Old people? Teens? Music? What God? All of them? At different points in my life? Now? Later? Never? I just want to figure out what makes me jump out of bed every morning. What is it that I live for? I know I live for God, but what does that mean?
And I'm starting to realize that most of my thoughts and actions flow from this belief that I need to do everything exactly right and be perfect in all I do. But really should be functioning out of the truth that God calls me to be faithful and to glorify him in all I do. That's different than what I function out of. I've been realizing that since Alan challenged me to figure out what my definition of success is. So I'm praying Romans 12:1-2 for myself. If you want to join in that, that'd be great!
I really want to figure out what my identity is to. That's similar to what I talked about at the beginning. But I want to find out who I am and what my identity is. What purposes has God made me for? What does he want me to focus on? Why am I here? What is my sweet spot? Alan and I have been talking and he said to me that because I don't know who I am, I don't have a point of reference to go to. So I don't know what to say yes to and what to say no to because I don't know who I am and I don't know what God wants for me.
So all of these things are going on, but I don't really take time to think and pray about it. I do sometimes, but I feel like that's not enough. But maybe it is. Maybe I just need to wait and trust that God will reveal that to me in His time.
These are lots of random thoughts, but they're just some things going through my mind tonight. So here they are in case you were wondering what exactly goes on in my head.
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